To say that my pregnancy with Pierce was a challenge would be the understatement of the year. Bottom line- this body doesn't handle pregnancy very well. Cliff notes: First trimester I wanted to die I was soo sick. Literally, I wanted to DIE! Those first 12 weeks were filled with 24/7 hugging a toilet bowl and just trying to make it through each day with a toddler. Second trimester, not too bad. Still hated being pregnant but otherwise uneventful. At 24 weeks though I found out that I had placenta previa (which is where the placenta is covering the cervix and unless it moves out of the way, its an automatic c-section and early delivery). The doctor immediately put me on pelvic rest (no lifting, no more exercise etc.) and unfortunately I was scheduled for a 37 week c-section delivery. As we got closer, I hadn't had any complications so I pushed for one more week to deliver. The doctor agreed and the new date was set for March 18th. I should also note that my final trimester was filled with heartburn and severe sciatic nerve pain the shot straight down my right leg morning noon and night. I was not a happy camper.
Fast forward to Monday night, March 17th. We dropped Will off with Nana and Bampa and headed home to try to get some sleep as we had to be at the hospital by 5:30 am. Thanks to the help of ambien I actually slept great that night and we both got up at 4:30 to take showers and head for the hospital. The whole thing felt surreal driving up, parking the car and knowing that in a few short hours we would be meeting our second baby boy. We checked in and they immediately began to prep me for surgery. Dad showed up unexpectedly and I could tell he just wanted to be there to make sure everything went smoothly. Soon after the nerves began to kick in. I was scared. They wheeled me back about 7:45 because the doctor was running late and the anesthesiologist began with the spinal which I have to say was AWFUL! Shockingly I found it very painful but boy did it work. I had an epidural with Will and felt like I couldn't breath because they had numbed my chest but with the spinal I could breath just fine. The surgery felt like it went on forever and I was soo eager to meet my sweet baby. I lost a significant amount of blood in surgery as a result of the previa so it took a bit longer to get Pierce out. At 8:30am Hudson Pierce Shipman was born, 7 pounds 2 oz and 20.25 inches long. I cried when I heard his screams coming out because I knew then that he had safely arrived. Zak cut the cord and was able to go ahead and hold him, but it was a good bit later before I got to hold him because they were closing me up.
When I got to recovery I was so tired because of the blood loss and honestly only held Pierce briefly because I was concerned I might drop him if I passed out. Pierce was making a lot of grunting noises and they were concerned enough that they sent him to the special care nursery for the next hour and placed him under the warmers. Soon after, they brought him back and his body temp was still lower than they wanted so they had me do skin to skin for the next few hours to try to get his body temp up. Thankfully it worked but instead of our families being able to come back at 9:30am as planned it was just after 12:00pm when they finally were able to come back and Pierce was still having to lay on me so no one was able to hold him.
Will was NOT a fan of me being in the hospital and certainly is very attached to his momma. I had really hoped that when Will came to meet Pierce I would be able to have someone else hold the new baby so I could be fully available to greet Will and assure him that everything was fine. But because it was so late when everyone came back they were only in the room for 15 minutes before they had to take Will to the cafeteria to get some lunch. By the time they came back it was past Will's naptime so they needed to head back home and Will just lost it. He was reaching for me and screaming "Momma, I want to stay with Momma!" It literally ripped my heart out and I started crying too. He was scared and not sure what was going on and I felt completely responsible.
The next 3 days were challenging to say the least. Pierce struggled to nurse and I saw lactation so many times. He was lethargic, which is common for boys who come early and had trouble latching. It was so so stressful that he continued to drop weight and have little interest in eating. The nurses and lactation all shared their concerns that he was tongue tied, but the pediatrician disagreed. By the time we left, Pierce had lost 11% of his body weight and we had to begin supplementing formula at every feed. My milk had yet to come in and we were definitely getting concerned. While in the hospital I definitely felt a major hormonal shift and began to have the same panic attacks throughout the day and to be honest it scared me. We were discharged Friday morning and at the point had made the decision to take Pierce to the ENT to have his tongue tie evaluated. The ENT said he definitely had a tongue tie and he immediately clipped it. They also discussed with us that due to his chin being recessed as a result of being born early he would likely continue to have a difficult time nursing and it would likely always be painful for me. That night we made the decision to wean. It was very emotional and very hard but I knew in my heart it was the right decision for our family. Each day since weaning I have felt better and better and now feel no anxiety at all. It took Pierce two full weeks to get back up to birth weight but within a short period of time he began eating like a champ!
I was so worried when I was pregnant with Pierce that I couldn't possibly love another child as much as I loved Will. But as many friends assured me, your heart grows in ways you never thought possible and I couldn't possibly love that sweet baby boy any more. We are so blessed to have him in our family. I love being a momma of boys and cant wait to see what sweet little personality emerges!
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